[random.jes]

I want to swap a resin red mouse a bit broken, but repaired (tail and one paw) .

[drip]

My first offering.

A vintage saree advertising counter display. This thing is shiny and spectacular.

Look at it.

LOOK AT IT!!!

If this doesn't bring joy to your heart, you're probably dead inside.

[shadowplay]

Original train conductor oil lamp with its original cobwebs

[jamo]

I would like to swap the following for a lovely, glittery Paul Insect print:

Violent Femmes cassette tape, 1983, good condition. Seminal album from iconic American band. Dolby B-Type noise reduction included. Includes classic tracks such as ‘Add It Up’, ‘Blister in the Sun’ and ‘Gone Daddy Gone’.

[Smokeidaeye]

My 15-year-old son, Evan, loves our Paul Insect artwork and wanted me to submit his video game creations. Paul will receive signed color copies of the covers and will be on the beta-tester VIP list when Evan figures out how to actually make a video game.

[drip]

My second offering.

A toy rubber mouse with a flip-phone.

For your consideration, a very important mouse.

What is the mouse talking about? Who knows, but it looks important. Maybe he's an international arms dealer? Maybe he's in charge of a large hedge fund - a very stressful profession? Perhaps he's calling his wife to say he's going to be home late because there's an emergency at work, but really he's planning to take his secretary up the Travelodge?

If you choose this item, with a bit of practice and imagination, you too will be able to hear his tiny phone conversations in your mind and on a daily basis.

[Street Arted 2020]

Offer #2

18th printing, 1979

[jamo]

London A-Z. Vital back-up plan in the event of total network failure or Sat nav issues. Old school.

[met]

Aug 29, 2023 2:50:24 GMT 1 Gucci Da Glacier said:

Aug 28, 2023 23:41:01 GMT 1 met said:

Aug 28, 2023 22:17:16 GMT 1 Gucci Da Glacier said:

I will offer my copy of LSD My Problem Child signed by Albert Hofmann, the chemist who was the first person to synthesize, ingest, and learn of the psychedelic effects of LSD and the first person to isolate and synthesize Psilocybin and Psilocin. 

A book on LSD translated by Jonathan OTT.

Can't work out whether he's using a pseudonym, or if this is a case of nominative determinism.

I couldn’t tell you whether it’s a pseudonym or not met but I can say he is a real person because I’ve met him lol

The title of your swap offer brought to mind a notable publication by Dr. Romulus Trilling.

I have an unsigned copy in my collection — and I'm unaware of the existence of any signed versions.



Given its value and for the avoidance of doubt, the photo below is for discussion purposes only. My Trilling book is neither for sale nor being offered as a swap.

[artzhole]

My SWAP SHOP offer is this pocket size hot under the collar book GRIP OF FEAR,
The book was found my myself along with a horde of (in this instance il call them) rhythm magazines hidden under the floorboards while doing work on house that must of been left there by a pervert of yesteryear.

....the Offer is the mentioned booklet but I'd be happy to bless you with the rest of the jazz mags if you so wish (WARNING!... some pages may be stuck together)

Nice for collector's items or even a vintage wa*k.

Thanks for your consideration.
Rj

[Skizz 82]

I will offer to Paul this Microbike




I have to notice that this bike has no brakes but you can stop by stopping pedaling (as suggested wenters you could brake with pedal back)

You can find here some detail

www.microbike.se/index-2.html



The MicroBike folding bike was designed by Otto Linander and Sven Hellestam in 1987 and made in Sweden between 1988 and 1993; it is no longer in production.

Only 16,000 were produced

I found this article saying it was exposed and sold for some times on the Museum of Modern Art of NY

www.nytimes.com/1990/05/03/garden/bikes-to-match-their-owners-psyches.html

[snoozy]

I will offer up this must have... well you can judge.

We all are aware that chickens exist, and I've always found them to be quite boring animals, with a bit of a strange existence (if you remove food bred ones), so I'll offer this Tutu, that, if nothing more will make you enjoy, smile or even think.. wtf!

For the love of God, let's make a chicken pretty Paul 🤣

This Rainbow Tutu for a chicken of your choice (Chicken not included) is my offering.

[Wenters]

Skizz 82 Pedal back brake!

[Skizz 82]

Aug 31, 2023 12:35:53 GMT 1 Wenters said:

Skizz 82 Pedal back brake!

Yes…exactly... with the risk of ending up on the ground 😂

[timmyup]

Some of these swaps are brilliant, I hope he takes some of them up

[drip]

My third offering.

A large plush doll of Jack the Ripper's final victim, as well as a handful of pieces of the surface of Whitechapel Road, London.

Hear me out.

When I was about 7, I went through a bit of a Jack the Ripper phase. Nobody knows why, certainly not me, my parents, and sadly not the therapists. It was shortly after my more socially acceptable dinosaur phase, and just before my Titanic phase.

Anyway, I really wanted to visit the East End of London. I thought that if I could go there, immerse myself in the location, I might finally be able to solve this previously unsolved series of gruesome murders. One day, after a furious argument with my mother, my father decided to finally take me to London.

I'll never forget, after arriving in central London, the way he said to me, "Be back at the car by 3 or I'll leave without you." That and when I finally found the car again, "We'd better get back before your mother calls the police."

So I was walking down the Whitechapel Road, when I observed some workmen digging a hole in the road.

"Excuse me, good man. Is this the same road surface that Jack the Ripper would've walked down?"

The man replied that, knowing the council, it probably was. I then asked if he knew the locations of the Rippers victims nearby, but he said he didn't. I then asked whether I could take some pieces of the road, as a souvenir. 

The workman replied, "I don't see why not, you horrible little sh*t. Fill yer boots."

So I took a handful of pieces and then left.

For your consideration, and I fully admit this is a bit niche and more for the criminology fans, a handful of road surface from Whitechapel Road, as well as a plush doll of Mary Jane Kelly.

After finding out I was into Jack the Ripper, a family friend, who was 79 and had recently been released from prison, made and gifted me a full set of the 5 canonical victims of Jack the Ripper, in plush, for Christmas. I know, I know, but I was 7, it was the 1980s, and...what can you do? While we know her eyes were blue, there's some debate about Mary Kelly's hair colour, so the maker decided to go with a chestnut red colour, which she's often been described and depicted as having. I think it might be real human hair too, which frankly nobody asked for.

I only have Mary Kelly left. Two of the other victims were destroyed and presumed lost in a house fire, and the other two, rats got them after they were stored in a shed. She's missing one of her shoes, but I think that's the very least problematic element of all this, and shouldn't detract from the overall....thing.



Edit: Found her other shoe.

[jeanmichel]

This is my last hope of getting a print, and it means a lot to me… but here goes!

My grandad was a loyal servant to Norwich and changed many peoples lives and played a big part in peoples lives. Believe it or not, his wife my grandmother is 101 years old!

I offer a replica mayor medal he was awarded!

Look forward to a DM..

[darren6]

My SWAP offer: I will supply a YEAR WORTH of Toenail and fingernail clippings and will be presented in a luxury small presentation box, along with the clipper itself.

[darren6]

My 2nd SWAP offer: Be a real life version of the "Mona Lisa" with this outfit, so Paul can wear and walk around in it while he paints his next masterpiece.

[drip]

My fourth offering.

For your consideration, a rare 2-headed Godzilla squeaky toy.

This is truly one of those money-can't-buy items. Believed to have been made in the 1980s, only 5 of these are currently known to exist, and they have all mysteriously been found and sourced from the island of Tenerife, where it's believed they were sold as dog toys. You can't find these anywhere else. You can't. You had to go to Tenerife and search through obscure island stores, speak to people, you had to go on a quest.

It's rubber, it squeaks, drives dogs wild, so there's a good chance that not many of these have survived. Why it's only found on the island of Tenerife - nobody knows. In the age of information, this is one of those remaining mysteries.

It's a very rare Godzilla item, frankly it's easier to find the actual Godzilla than it is one of these. Post a picture of it on one of those Godzilla fan sites, and watch those kaiju anoraks positively lose their minds. I genuinely don't want to get rid of this, and if you choose it, I will kick and scream like a toddler.

Choose this item and be one of only 5 owners in the world. Be a legend. 

[drip]

Aug 31, 2023 14:24:26 GMT 1 darren6 said:

My SWAP offer: I will supply a YEAR WORTH of Toenail and fingernail clippings and will be presented in a luxury small presentation box, along with the clipper itself.

We have a winner.

[Lroy]

Dear Paul,

I spotted a teddy bear in one of your stories alone like all the old teddy bears. Mine still bears the scars of my childhood and looks worried, worried, very unhappy, in his rocking chair (included). "Old teddy bear", that's his name, was dressed by my daughter, as a "boy" with his overalls (included) and as a (girl) with his nightie... I fear that he will be abandoned during my death and I prefer to know it by your side forever, than to end up in a trash can (the children have grown up and left)... So he will join yours and they will never be alone again. Born in 1951, it belonged to my brother then living on a farm in the countryside. In 59, he came to my bed to protect me because Old Teddy Bear is also a lucky charm which protects our nights, from illness, from stabbing and from all our fears. It drives away anxieties and nightmares! Before he talked, and unfortunately, like many curious children, I wanted to know what was in his stomach - which I then cut out and opened! Since then he hasn't spoken and my mother has sewn him up! There, laid bare, you can see it from every angle, including the traces of the life I had! I even sewed the ends of his socks on his hands so that he wouldn't be cold. Old Teddy Bear 🐻 will be the greatest of your friends and will be the French correspondent of yours, so that they can exchange our languages, like when we each went on exchanges between French-English colleges! a good way to break this curse of Brexit which in fact only concerns women and men who have abandoned their childhood, or at least a large part of it, to succeed in life ! Let them say and believe ! We poets and artists, Old Teddy Bears, know that love has no borders and that it crosses with its innocence and its ingenuous and invented thoughts, the most beautiful stories forever imagined !
Bye Paul ! Au revoir !

[Lroy]

second swap.

This is not a weapon but an official baton decorated with the legion of honour: a real distinction for police officers from the 50s/60s or less or more, from the time of the caps! and truncheon!
a truncheon that had to be used and raged during May 68 in France! Crowned with a tricolor flag, this truncheon will go very well with your Paul buttonhole, in memory of our fathers. no to patriarchy! the rose decoration blue white red will be included and wrapped in a velvet box, supreme distinction !

+ also a French Gaz cup to play to play to the policeman having gaz !
(my third swap will be on Instagram I think )

[mik]

I would swap these original 90s pirated games Keen Commander and Leisure Suit Larry. Many hours of brilliant, entertaining and raunchy gameplay. As far as I remember I last played them in the early nineties before a nasty virus on another copied disk ruined my 386 PC.

[Dinin]

I would like to offer these two 2kg bags of banana and shrimp sweets that my brother bought me thinking that a) I was our dad, and b) were 200g bags.

[doughnut]

I will swap you a poorly written song about all the weird and wonderful proposed swaps from the UAA forum. It only slightly plagiarises ‘we didn’t start the fire ‘.

[ant0187]

In a nod to Beyond The Streets...I offer a now retired Lego Adidas Originals Superstar (10282) along with a limited edition mini Lego Adidas Originals Superstar (40486) that was only available with the larger set.
These have both been built after reigniting my enjoyment of Lego, during stints of insomnia due to steroids I have been taking whilst in chemotherapy treatment for stage 4 cancer, I found building lego sets keep me distracted during long nights...so as well as being two very cool sets, they also have a very personal attachment... but a Paul Insect on my wall to admire during nights of insomnia would be even better!

[minibear]

Sept 1, 2023 0:59:40 GMT 1 ant0187 said:

In a nod to Beyond The Streets...I offer a now retired Lego Adidas Originals Superstar (10282) along with a limited edition mini Lego Adidas Originals Superstar (40486) that was only available with the larger set.
These have both been built after reigniting my enjoyment of Lego, during stints of insomnia due to steroids I have been taking whilst in chemotherapy treatment for stage 4 cancer, I found building lego sets keep me distracted during long nights...so as well as being two very cool sets, they also have a very personal attachment... but a Paul Insect on my wall to admire during nights of insomnia would be even better!

Sending strength to you on your journey champ. 👊 

[ant0187]

Sept 1, 2023 2:46:36 GMT 1 minibear said:

Sept 1, 2023 0:59:40 GMT 1 ant0187 said:

Sending strength to you on your journey champ. 👊 

Thank you minibear, i appreciate it... it's being pretty stubborn, but so am I (and bloody determined)!

[My Name is Frank]

Sept 1, 2023 7:57:18 GMT 1 ant0187 said:

Sept 1, 2023 2:46:36 GMT 1 minibear said:

Sending strength to you on your journey champ. 👊 

Thank you minibear, i appreciate it... it's being pretty stubborn, but so am I (and bloody determined)!

Kick its butt!