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Post by agent provocateur on Dec 15, 2009 14:24:26 GMT 1
Me again... just finished spraying a couple of special packages, I'll mix these in with the normal ones   At the moment the list so far is: No Room at the Holiday Inn - 1 topboy 2 doublehelix 3 ct 4 distinctivevision 5 slidingonthewalls 6 ricobenfico 7 carl1 8 theanimalart Biggles – ELE - 1 A friend on flickr2 macavity 3 plurker 4 jkw 5 klow 6 buffin 7 spirit 8 fuzzed 9 love 10 donaldo 11 pointblank I will try and PM everyone today for their address... still a few left  AP |
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leeoman
2 Star Member
........Ha
Posts: 455
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Post by leeoman on Dec 15, 2009 14:33:58 GMT 1
Wish my Christmas cards looked that good AP!!
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webby
1 Star Member
Posts: 136
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Post by webby on Dec 15, 2009 14:39:05 GMT 1
Hey Ap, love your work, and i am not being a lick, here is my hotel joke/wit:
An engineer, physicist & mathematician in a hotel
An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician are staying in a hotel.
The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. He goes out into the hallway and sees a fire, so he fills a trash can from his room with water and douses the fire. He goes back to bed.
Later, the physicist wakes up and smells smoke. He opens his door and sees a fire in the hallway. He walks down the hall to a fire hose and after calculating the flame velocity, distance, water pressure, trajectory, etc. extinguishes the fire with the minimum amount of water and energy needed.
Later, the mathematician wakes up and smells smoke. He goes to the hall, sees the fire and then the fire hose. He thinks for a moment and then exclaims, "Ah, a solution exists!" and then goes back to bed.
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webby
1 Star Member
Posts: 136
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Post by webby on Dec 15, 2009 14:40:36 GMT 1
or, one for your cards....................
Because of back problems, each night I lie on the floor and do exercises. Once when we stopped at a motel, as I started my exercise, something under the bed caught my eye. It was a card, on which was written "Yes, we do clean under here, too."
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webby
1 Star Member
Posts: 136
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Post by webby on Dec 15, 2009 14:50:33 GMT 1
more of a joke for Eine;
What do elves learn in school?
The Elf-abet!
Shall i give up??
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Post by youngsquire on Dec 15, 2009 15:00:16 GMT 1
Q: Why did the pigeon cross the road?
A: Because it thought it was a chicken. ;D
Happy christmas AP, nice work with the cards.
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webby
1 Star Member
Posts: 136
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Post by webby on Dec 15, 2009 15:01:02 GMT 1
one for bird lovers............
I was driving to work this morning when my car stalled in the damp weather. I was sitting in the car at the side of the highway, contemplating my next move, when a pigeon flew down and landed right in the middle of the hood of the car.
It seemed fairly tame, and I soon became fascinated in watching it up close as it strutted around and made cooing noises.
A few minutes passed, and two more pigeons flew in and joined the first bird. Pigeons seem to be attracted by crowds, and soon I was sitting there with a whole hood full of pigeons, all cooing loudly and beginning to change the color of my hood.
Gradually I noticed that the birds seemed to be trying to get my attention, which was unnerving, since I had always regarded pigeons as rather stupid birds. But, sure enough, several of them were dragging a piece of rope around on the hood, and several others were flying out in front of the car and returning to the hood.
All of a sudden, I realized what they were doing, so I yanked open the door and wildly chased them all off.
No way was I going to be pigeon towed!
I am here all night!!!
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webby
1 Star Member
Posts: 136
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Post by webby on Dec 15, 2009 15:01:46 GMT 1
AP, You are a better man and artist than Banksy, HAPPY XMAS!!
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Post by youngsquire on Dec 15, 2009 15:01:57 GMT 1
Q: Why did the pigeon cross the road? A: Because it thought it was a chicken. ;D Happy christmas AP, nice work with the cards. Sorry that was lame! How about something more topical: Q: What’s the difference between Investment Bankers and London Pigeons? A: The Pigeons are still capable of making deposits on new BMWs |
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webby
1 Star Member
Posts: 136
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Post by webby on Dec 15, 2009 15:05:57 GMT 1
Youngsquire: Nice one,
Last one from me..........
Why is a sofa like a roast chicken ?
Because they're both full of stuffing !
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Post by marwood on Dec 15, 2009 15:07:14 GMT 1
Makes me think of that classic Fawlty Towers episode...
"Que? Pig? Oink oink, oink oink.... hahahahah!!!"
"Not pig, PIGEON!! You have pigeons in Spain, or did Franco hace them all shot?"
;D
Love a pigeon bomber if there's still one going.....
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Post by Guest on Dec 15, 2009 15:07:34 GMT 1
Hi AP , any chance of one of these too please , good work man ,
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Post by Guest on Dec 15, 2009 15:09:49 GMT 1
Pigeons are great i agree
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Post by urbancowboy on Dec 15, 2009 15:15:26 GMT 1
My favourite joke of the last week or so, do I win a prize
Ed went to see the Doctor. The Doctor asked what was wrong.
"Don't laugh!" said the patient Ed.
"Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said. "I'm a professional.
In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient".
"Okay then," Ed said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the smallest willy the doctor had ever seen. It couldn't have been bigger than the size of a AAA battery.
Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, then fell laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure.
"I'm so sorry," said the doctor. "I really am. I don't know what came over me. On my honour as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won't happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?"
"It's swollen," Ed replied.
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Post by Guest on Dec 15, 2009 15:23:14 GMT 1
Q: Who's the nicest man in a hospital?
A: The ultra-sound man
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Post by spirit on Dec 15, 2009 15:28:41 GMT 1
Patient: Doctor, I have this insatiable urge to wrap myself in clingfilm
Doctor: I can clearly see your nuts
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Post by tobomoore on Dec 15, 2009 15:37:04 GMT 1
A man is in a queue at Tesco and sees this busty blonde staring at him, he can’t believe she is staring at him, then she starts waving.
"Excuse me do I know you" he asks.
"Yes I think you are the father of one of my kids" she says.
The man thinks back and remembers his one act of infedelity and says " ****ing hell are you the bird I shagged on me stag do, whilst your mate whipped me and your other mate stuck a brush up my arse"
"No" she replies "I am your sons English teacher!"
Id love the pigeon if theres still one going - happy xmas :-)
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Post by agent provocateur on Dec 15, 2009 15:41:25 GMT 1
Haha love'em... keep them coming. Webby you're in, bazz you're already on my mailing list for one, youngsquire and urbancowboy you're down for a 'No Room...' plus last but not least marwood you're down for a 'Biggles'. Hope that's all cool... three 'Biggles' and four 'No Room...' left.  |
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Post by agent provocateur on Dec 15, 2009 15:43:19 GMT 1
That's cool tobomoore... two 'Biggles' left now
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Post by otto71 on Dec 15, 2009 15:49:14 GMT 1
To the AP's,
it's Christmastime, there's no need to be afraid.
it's Christmastime, looks like Banksy & POW are getting paid.
it's Christmastime, no cookies have been made.
It's Christmastime, please Santa, let us all get laid!
Happy Holidays everyone.
(pigeon bomber plz!)
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Post by agent provocateur on Dec 15, 2009 15:55:57 GMT 1
No worries otto
Final 'Biggles' feeling a bit unloved... and four 'No Room...' waiting to be claimed!
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Post by robinbanks on Dec 15, 2009 16:03:59 GMT 1
Q: Who's the nicest man in a hospital? A: The ultra-sound man Haha - except when he's not working eh - then it's the hip replacement guy! ;D A fan of the old jokes home too I see |
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stenev
3 Star Member
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Post by stenev on Dec 15, 2009 16:09:13 GMT 1
No worries otto Final 'Biggles' feeling a bit unloved... and four 'No Room...' waiting to be claimed! Would love the last Biggles, but happy to go to the back of the list if a seasoned forum member wants it. How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a lightbulb? 2... 1 to change the bulb and the other to hold the p***s. I mean ladder. |
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Post by agent provocateur on Dec 15, 2009 17:41:46 GMT 1
I've just pm'd everyone on the list so far to get addresses.
Still a few 'No Room at the Holiday Inn' available...
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Post by illu2305 on Dec 15, 2009 18:04:46 GMT 1
Heyho,
just got my eyeballs out of youNoob!
for a funkyass**t chrismascard I offer my first post ever in this forum.
You don't have time to spray my moms christmastree so I don't get eyecancer this year?
So feel free to enlighten my boredom in the black forest.......and by the way:
A one handed man enters a secon hand shop.
I wish you an peacefull christmas!
cheerio miss sophie!
olli
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Post by agent provocateur on Dec 16, 2009 9:59:57 GMT 1
Morning, thanks to everyone that's pm'd their address, I am on the case today. Still a few more to come tho. olli welcome to the forum, your first post get's you one of my festive freebies I'll pm you for your delivery details later. AP |
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ninja
2 Star Member
Posts: 436
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Post by ninja on Dec 16, 2009 14:21:07 GMT 1
I've already got one but a mate sent me this joke when I was growing a mouser for Mo'vember last month:
An eskimo brings his snowmobile in to the garage because it isn't running well.
The mechanic inspects the engine then looks at the eskimo and says 'it looks like you blew a seal'...
To which the eskimo replies 'NO... that's just frost on my moustache!'
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Post by Guest on Dec 16, 2009 14:54:21 GMT 1
Classy piece that bomber pigeion AP Your inspiration behind it reminds me of Max Ernst LOPLOP bird only completely different if that makes any sense ?
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Post by agent provocateur on Dec 16, 2009 16:09:16 GMT 1
donaldo that's awful(ly good) ;D Thanks Mr Architect... I better get onto Google as I don't know Max Ernst's LopLop bird. Am intrigued! I have got all but two of the addresses for Biggles and will be dropping them in the post box in a minute. Let me know if they arrive  Thanks for the pm's for the 'No Room at the Holiday', I'll hopefully sort all of them out tomorrow... off to Sickboy's logopop exhibition tonight Laters |
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Cartrain
Artist 
How do i delete my account?
Posts: 474
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Post by Cartrain on Dec 16, 2009 19:41:23 GMT 1
Very interesting read - Mr Biggles - Surreal and an out of the box different kettle of ballgame way of thinking AP. Like it and the card looks great
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