Hey Ap, love your work, and i am not being a lick, here is my hotel joke/wit: An engineer, physicist & mathematician in a hotel An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician are staying in a hotel.
The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. He goes out into the hallway and sees a fire, so he fills a trash can from his room with water and douses the fire. He goes back to bed.
Later, the physicist wakes up and smells smoke. He opens his door and sees a fire in the hallway. He walks down the hall to a fire hose and after calculating the flame velocity, distance, water pressure, trajectory, etc. extinguishes the fire with the minimum amount of water and energy needed.
Later, the mathematician wakes up and smells smoke. He goes to the hall, sees the fire and then the fire hose. He thinks for a moment and then exclaims, "Ah, a solution exists!" and then goes back to bed.
Because of back problems, each night I lie on the floor and do exercises. Once when we stopped at a motel, as I started my exercise, something under the bed caught my eye. It was a card, on which was written "Yes, we do clean under here, too."
I was driving to work this morning when my car stalled in the damp weather. I was sitting in the car at the side of the highway, contemplating my next move, when a pigeon flew down and landed right in the middle of the hood of the car.
It seemed fairly tame, and I soon became fascinated in watching it up close as it strutted around and made cooing noises.
A few minutes passed, and two more pigeons flew in and joined the first bird. Pigeons seem to be attracted by crowds, and soon I was sitting there with a whole hood full of pigeons, all cooing loudly and beginning to change the color of my hood.
Gradually I noticed that the birds seemed to be trying to get my attention, which was unnerving, since I had always regarded pigeons as rather stupid birds. But, sure enough, several of them were dragging a piece of rope around on the hood, and several others were flying out in front of the car and returning to the hood.
All of a sudden, I realized what they were doing, so I yanked open the door and wildly chased them all off.
Post by urbancowboy on Dec 15, 2009 15:15:26 GMT 1
My favourite joke of the last week or so, do I win a prize
Ed went to see the Doctor. The Doctor asked what was wrong. "Don't laugh!" said the patient Ed. "Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said. "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient". "Okay then," Ed said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the smallest willy the doctor had ever seen. It couldn't have been bigger than the size of a AAA battery. Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, then fell laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure. "I'm so sorry," said the doctor. "I really am. I don't know what came over me. On my honour as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won't happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?" "It's swollen," Ed replied.
I desperately need to think of something witty to put here.
To the AP's, it's Christmastime, there's no need to be afraid. it's Christmastime, looks like Banksy & POW are getting paid. it's Christmastime, no cookies have been made. It's Christmastime, please Santa, let us all get laid!
Heyho, just got my eyeballs out of youNoob! for a funkyass**t chrismascard I offer my first post ever in this forum. You don't have time to spray my moms christmastree so I don't get eyecancer this year? So feel free to enlighten my boredom in the black forest.......and by the way: A one handed man enters a secon hand shop. I wish you an peacefull christmas!
jeromeetjess: Hi Shrink I bought a set of eternal reflection prints directely to MW! I am waiting for a payment for the green and pink ones today or tomorrow but I have an orange one to sell at 666€! I am based in France and only accept paypal transfer with
May 22, 2013 21:27:52 GMT 1
Finsbury: champions league your having. A laugh
May 19, 2013 20:40:25 GMT 1
Finsbury: Front wheels no show Hahnaahaahahahah
May 19, 2013 20:38:52 GMT 1
May 16, 2013 12:28:22 GMT 1
258: im after vna's 8, 9 & 11, does anyone know anyone selling them? cheers
May 16, 2013 10:21:30 GMT 1
siankisses: [br]FOR SALE – thegiant.org/wiki/index.php/Guns_and_Roses_Offset - signed,numbered 135 of 750. black mount & black gallery frame, purchased from Artrepublic in 2007. I am looking for £350 or a sensible offer. Buyer to collect from London, SE1.
May 15, 2013 10:57:47 GMT 1